Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Tried and True with a dash of woo, where we blend rock solid tips with a little bit of magic. I'm Renee Bowen, your host, life and business coach and professional photographer at your service. We are all about getting creative, diving into your business and playing with manifestation over here. So are you ready to get inspired and have some fun? Let's dive in. Hey friends, happy Wednesday.

Speaker 1: 0:26

I hope you guys are having a really great summer and you're staying as cool as humanly possible. It's been actually pretty brutal out here in Southern California and, yeah, I'm kind of over it. So hopefully you guys are beating the heat and if you're a photographer and you do have a bunch of sessions, hopefully you are able to either push them a little bit or schedule them early in the day or later in the day. It's been kind of impossible here, even at the beach, but you know what you got to do, what you got to do and thankfully I have an amazing makeup artist who works with me so she can do all that she can to keep everybody's skin looking as sweat free as possible. So between that and what I do in editing, I think we're good, but hopefully you guys are having a good summer and finding some time to rest. Personally, I have not been able to do that. I'm hoping that sometime in August maybe maybe not till September I'll be able to get a little bit of rest in, but it's all good. I've got my kids home actually once here, once coming in tomorrow, and then they're leaving again and then coming back, so there's a lot of runs to the airport as well. So I'm playing a lot of you know mom duties right now, in addition to shooting and in addition to doing some coaching. So it's proving to be already quite a busy summer for me, and it's all good.

Speaker 1: 2:00

So today's podcast is going to be a little short one for y'all and I'm not doing any video for this either just because I'm all about making my life as easy as possible right now, and I suggest you do the same too. So if there are some things that you can cut out in your business that are not going to truly affect your bottom line, go ahead and do it. You got to do what you got to do to get through, and if you're in a busy season, just make it a little bit easier on yourself. So today we're doing audio only and it's not going to be a super long episode, but I did want to dive into this topic because I see a lot of you guys struggling with it.

Speaker 1: 2:37

I hear it in my elevate groups and just in general in my Facebook groups too, and it's this idea of how in the world are we going to, or are we expected to, maybe feel really good when everything around us seems not good. I mean, I think that anyone would agree right now that the world is a little heavy. It can feel a little crazy, and I know I talk a lot about how important it is for us to stay positive and to stay on track and to stay focused and eye on the prize and all of that kind of stuff. But I also know that this might be a really hard time for a lot of us to do that. So I wanted to see if I could help just a little bit with some perspective on that and some strategies as well.

Speaker 1: 3:29

And really what it kind of comes down to, I think, is having a strong self-belief. So when you have a really strong core belief in yourself, it is easier to stay in a more positive state of mind when things around you seem to be going in the opposite direction. But how do we do that, how do we build a really strong foundation and create that life that your soul is craving, this really strong, unshakable self-belief, and how do you maintain it during these crazy times? And, specifically, how do you believe in yourself when you don't have proof that it's working? Okay, that's really kind of what it comes down to. It's really easy to believe in yourself when you've got proof that it's going well, like when your posts on social are hitting, when you're getting a lot of engagement, when those inquiries are coming in, when things just feel in flow. It's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, this is it. So it's easy to have that self-belief when all of those things are happening. But it's really not easy when it's slow, when the inquiries are not necessarily coming in as quickly as you'd like, when it feels like you're making posts on social and literally no one is listening and you're like, why am I even doing this? Like none of this even makes sense, it's pointless. You know, it's a lot harder to have it when all of that stuff is going on.

Speaker 1: 5:05

So let's kind of start off really quickly with this science behind the self-belief and I do obviously love the scientific part of it. You guys know that if you've been listening for a minute, I think it's fascinating. Our brains are really adaptable thanks to this concept called neuroplasticity. So that really means that our brains can rewire themselves based on our thoughts, our behaviors and our experiences. So when we are consistently thinking positive, when we have empowering thoughts, we create new neural pathways that reinforce those beliefs, and there is a lot of scientific proof behind all of this.

Speaker 1: 5:48

So the key player in that process is the reticular activating system, or the RAS. You guys have probably heard me talk about this before, but the RAS acts like a filter, focusing our attention on things that align with our goals and our beliefs. So if you believe you're capable of achieving something, your RAS is going to help you notice opportunities and resources to make it happen. And it's just like that thing you know Tony Robbins always talks about where you may not be recognizing all the red cars when you're out on the road driving, but if I told you right now I want you to count how many red cars you see today, you will be able to do that. Your reticular activating system is going to start noticing it and even after that assignment, you are just going to start noticing more red cars, because we've sort of embedded that into your brain and you've created some new neural pathways based on that. So you can use this to your advantage. And one of the things that I like to do to sort of stimulate or activate the RIS is to use it in maybe some journaling processes as well. So you know, definitely outlining the things that I want to notice, that I want to see Again, when the world feels like it's burning down around us, it's really easy to fall into that unconscious programming.

Speaker 1: 7:19

And here's the other thing, too, is that anytime you are online specifically because we know that that is a dopamine hit, right, it really activates that old part of your brain. Okay, scrolling and scrolling and scrolling and just kind of consuming various types of content and not being active in your content creation or active in your thought processes, you're using your amygdala in your brain. So that is the lizard brain, the oldest part of your brain, and that's where fight or flight lives, that is where all of the safety mechanisms are built into, okay. So, like this also has a lot to do with, just in general, people being reactive, right, maybe you've got a client who's unhappy with something or, uh, you know, just making weird comments on your post or anything like that.

Speaker 1: 8:15

If you're triggering people with your content or you're triggering people with your prices and they seem reactive, they're acting from their amygdala, from that fight or flight, from that old lizard brain. They're not using their evolved brain, they're not using their prefrontal cortex, because that doesn't form until you're much older, right Like 25 years old. So they're not thinking consciously. They're allowing those old programs and their own old experiences with money or whatever it is that they're being triggered about, to just have this knee-jerk reaction, to react very quickly without thinking right. That's what that whole phrase comes from is acting without thinking or putting your foot in your mouth, and that's really what that is. And it takes an evolved person and someone who is noticing their thought patterns, someone who has emotional intelligence and who wants to better themselves, to be able to notice that oh, that's not probably the right reaction. That's why it's always great to just take a minute before sending that email or responding to that client.

Speaker 1: 9:30

Take a minute and come back to your thinking brain, your evolved brain, and don't let your amygdala just run amok. In other words, don't let your unconscious mind drive the car right, because most people do. Don't let your unconscious mind drive the car right, because most people do. And coming back to the reticular activating system, we can see that happen a lot online, where it's like if you're just scrolling and scrolling and you're consuming, you're allowing that old part of your brain to really take control your unconscious mind, your defense mechanism, your safety mechanism to drive the car and you're not acting from a place of empowerment. And that's really where you want to be. You want to be in a place of empowerment.

Speaker 1: 10:16

So there's also that self-fulfilling prophecy where our beliefs will influence our actions and our actions influence our outcomes. So if you believe that you are destined for success, or you can make the kind of money that you want to make, or you are good at sales, or you are a happy person, or that the world is inherently good or whatever that is, you're more likely to take actions to lead to that outcome that are going to further reinforce that belief. So one of the best things you can do is to set that tone of the day, and I know I've talked about this before and some of these non-negotiables that I'll do, and one of them is setting that tone for my day. I really don't like to just hop on my phone and just start consuming right away, because that's really a fast track to being in reactive mode all day long and that's not a great place to be. So this could be as easy as taking five minutes to just write out two statements of your intentions for the day, so that way you can train your reticular activating system to look for the things you want it to look for and not the other way around. And yes, even when you don't book that client or you don't get the job or you know something else pops up, life is going to life.

Speaker 1: 11:45

So even when any of those things happen, you always can come back to your place of being centered and being focused. You can come back to where you want to be. And if you are writing it down and if you are journaling it, it's easier for you to flip that page and get back on track because it's in physical form. It's a lot harder to do if you're keeping it all in your head, you know, because it's easy for you to just not remember. First of all, a lot of neuro spicy brains. You're not going to remember all the things that come in and out of there. So if you write it down and you set those intentions and you journal a little bit about it, you're going to have an easier point of reference to actually look back on and that's also really helpful just in where you want to go, because then you don't have to repeat it.

Speaker 1: 12:42

So tying this piece of the science, part of it, the RAS into the manifestation and the magic part of it, when we really align our thoughts and our beliefs with our desires, we do start to attract those very things into our lives, because that's just energetics and it's about tuning your vibration to match the frequency of what you want to manifest. And guess what? The science of neuroplasticity and the power of the RAS are your allies in this process. You have the power inside of you already, okay, so you will get how you feel. You will get back what you are, but what you are emitting, the vibration that you are emitting. So when you are outlining these things in a journal and you're setting the tone for your day, you are tuning your vibration. You are changing that signature of energy that you're emitting out into the universe so that it will come back to you.

Speaker 1: 13:50

The other part of it is letting it go. That's. The other thing about it is that if you hold so tightly to it and you're so like um, grasped onto it, it's going to be really counterproductive, because what you resist persists. So, finding that, that balance of desire and intention, and then letting it go and trusting that it is already yours and believing that the universe does work in your favor and it is it is always for you. What is for you is for you, always so, maintaining this self-belief when things don't go your way, when sometimes the exact opposite of what you wanted to happen just happened. That's where resilience and adaptability really come into play, and it's about moving with certainty that this is who you are, this is where you're going and this is how life gets to be for you.

Speaker 1: 14:48

So one strategy is to reframe setbacks as opportunities for growth and, instead of seeing a failure as proof that you're not capable for growth, and instead of seeing a failure as proof that you're not capable, view it as a learning experience that brings you one step closer to your goal. Again, this goes back to whether you're allowing your amygdala to run the show, your unconscious mind, or your prefrontal cortex, your thinking brain, because if you are operating from an unconscious place and you're allowing that fight or flight mechanism to run the show. You will see everything as proof that you're not capable. Because what happens is when you're in that fight or flight, pretty much consistently all the blood flow goes to your limbs and your legs so that you can get out, you can get away, you can run or you can freeze or whatever. But it's not. It's not in your brain, like there's a literal blood flow decrease from your thinking brain, so you're not going to be thinking clearly. That's why we want to get you to a place of feeling centered and calm and regulated, so you can make those decisions from that prefrontal cortex and not from the amygdala, not that knee jerk reaction. And a really great way to do that is to practice gratitude, you know, focusing on what's going well and the progress that you've made, no matter how small, because even small little pieces make such a huge difference. This is a really key factor in maintaining that positive mindset, and you're not only helping yourself with this, but you're also raising the vibration of everybody around you when you do that, because this collective energy can create a ripple effect and it does influence those around you and the world in a positive way. It really does. So here's some practical techniques that are grounded in neuroscience and energy work that will help strengthen this self-belief.

Speaker 1: 16:50

Visualization Spend a few minutes every day visualizing and feeling. It can't just be the vision, you have to actually feel it. Visualizing and feeling your goals as if they are already achieved. Feel the emotions of that success and let that energy guide you. I cannot stress how important this is. You have to be able to feel what it feels like. So this is your permission to daydream. This is, you know, the permission to allow yourself to go big with it, and I know that society has tried to tell us that that is not conducive to a productive and efficient life, but it's that's not true. It's not true.

Speaker 1: 17:42

Visualizing and feeling into the life that you want, that you desire, is such a fast track to it, and it's a really fast reframe, right when I'm feeling particularly not great, when I have allowed myself to consume too much crap on the internet or just things have not gone my way Like there's. You know, there's been a few things in the last, like three months in particular, that have just been not what I would have desired, um, things outside of my control, and for somebody who is a control freak, that's no fun, right? I know a lot of you guys can identify with that and full transparency. Yeah, that's what happens sometimes. I do think I have a pretty strong self-belief, but sometimes I'm just not there, and so this is a really fast little reframe for me. I will force myself to sit in visualization and allow myself to just dream up what I want and then feel how I'm going to feel when I have it, because it is already mine. I really do believe that if we have the idea for something, if we have the inclination for something, that a version of ourselves has already created that and we just simply need to match the vibration. And that's how you do it. And you can add some affirmations to this as well Create some really positive statements about yourself and your goals and then repeat them daily, but the key again is to feel it. Affirmations by themselves just don't really work that well, but they can be used in conjunction with that visualization.

Speaker 1: 19:34

Obviously, practicing mindfulness and staying in the moment is a really big one. I have a whole podcast about just that, because that's all we really have. The moment right now is all we really have. The future doesn't exist yet the past doesn't exist, like, yes, there's all these different timelines. If we you that which I do, but we tend to fall into this overthinking, overactive anxiety stuff when we get caught up in the future stuff. So bring yourself back to the moment. And if it's really hard for you to do that, literally all you need to do is just sit down for a second and say, okay, how many pink items do I notice right now? How many blue things? What does the grass feel like on my feet? For that matter, grounding and grass is a really, really fast, awesome thing to do, and sometimes, when I only have a few minutes, I'll just run outside really fast, take my shoes off and let my feet be on the grass, because there is a lot of scientific research that does back up that. There's a lot of positive ions there. There's a reason they call it grounding. So if that's all you can do, do that, but being mindful and staying in the moment and just being grateful for what you have. Like. Thank you for the roof over my head, thank you for the food that I have in my fridge. Don't go to the place of like well, it's not as much as I'd like it to be right. Like then you're letting that amygdala take over, just be thankful for the things that you do have Grateful and feel it. That's the other key, just like we were talking about before with the visualization, feeling that gratefulness, like really, what does it feel like? What does it feel like to feel so grateful to have a bed to sleep in and a roof over your head and healthy kids or whatever it is? So meditation is definitely a big part of the mindfulness thing too. When you do a lot of meditation, it's easier for you to act and react from a place of mindfulness.

Speaker 1: 21:47

I already mentioned journaling, but I'm going to mention it one more time because it is a scientific thing. When you write down your thoughts and your progress and any of your positive experiences and the things that you want, this really does help reinforce your beliefs and it does help you track the journey. I love looking back at my old journals. Some of them are so cringy like, oh my God, like what? What was I thinking? But it's such a great place to be, to like, have that 30,000 foot view of like.

Speaker 1: 22:16

I've been looking back at some of my very old journals, like from 20 plus years ago and that is. That is something let me tell you, because it's a really beautiful exercise in self-compassion, which I also think is a really big part of this self-belief. We are so quick to judge ourselves and so quick to like beat ourselves up when really just we need is some reparenting and some self-compassion. Okay, cause, like most of us just didn't get that, and even even from great families I have a great family, but there are definitely things that I look back on from these journals of like 25 years ago and I'm like, oh girl, I'm so sorry, you know what I mean Like I really wish that you didn't have to feel that or you didn't have to go through that, but it also brought me to where I am right now. So being grateful for it and being grateful for the growth through all that crap is huge.

Speaker 1: 23:14

Also, looking back and going, wow, I've grown a lot, like I've really not just matured, obviously, I mean, obviously I'm chronologically older, but there's been so much like emotional growth since that part of my life and it's so cool to look back and see all the little pieces of that puzzle right, like, oh, okay, yes, if I hadn't taken that class or, you know, enrolled in that Reiki class or learned hypnosis or whatever it is like, I might not be as strong in my self-belief as I am now and I'm so grateful that I am, but really I think that the looking back on old journals is just a really beautiful practice in reparenting yourself and giving that version of yourself love. Because, remember, if time is not linear and it's all happening at the same time, then that version of you is still there. That version of me 20 plus years ago is still in that place and so I can like pop in and say, hey, we got this, just so you know, we got through that and you learned so much and if you could see where you are now, you would not be feeling like this right now. So I love you, you're doing a great job. Keep going, it gets better. Right Like I love that. It gets better.

Speaker 1: 24:50

Trend on TikTok, Like it's so true. So pop into that younger version of yourself and give yourself some love. That's a really great thing to do with self-belief and, honestly, all of this is tied to imposter syndrome, by the way. Like in general, I feel like imposter syndrome and feeling like you just don't have it all together comes from not having a very strong belief in yourself and not having a deep sense of self-love because of the things that were either done to us or the beliefs that we sucked in as children, and it all is tied into our survival instincts so that when we do something that doesn't feel safe, you know something new, something we've never done before. It's not going to feel safe. So all of these things kick in and it triggers that feeling of not safety, which brings up anxiety and all of that stuff. So all of this stuff that we're talking about today is very much tied to your imposter syndrome.

Speaker 1: 25:59

That we're talking about today is very much tied to your imposter syndrome, and the stronger self-belief you have, the easier it is for you to move through anything in life, the easier it is for you to look around you and not be as affected and the easier it is for you to show up when it is scary and to keep doing it even when it is scary. The other thing you can do is I think I talked about this here before, but it's a really powerful exercise is to write a letter to yourself from the future. Okay, so really allow yourself to dream up what it is that you want and then write that letter to yourself as if like a year from now, and talk about all the awesome things that have happened in the past year meaning from now until next year right, create that actual feeling and vision for yourself. So if you have a hard time visualizing it, this could be a really fun thing to do, because it makes it a little bit easier when you put yourself in that position of like, okay, future me is writing this to me now. What did we learn? What did we do? What are all the amazing things that we accomplished? What are some of the things that we were able to like discover about ourselves in that year that we may not know now? So that's a really fun way to embed that stuff in your unconscious mind and then scripting it too. So like writing out your goals and desires in the present tense, like as if they've already happened, act as if it's already happened.

Speaker 1: 27:36

So I have created this amazing business. I have, you know, 12 clients per month consistently. I make $30,000 a month consistently. I'm so grateful that I am bringing in $30,000 a month consistently. Whatever it is, I'm just kind of throwing some stuff out there for you to see what I'm talking about, but be clear with it. Stuff out there for you to see what I'm talking about. But be clear with it, and I know that for a lot of you guys, when you start doing that work especially when it comes to like adding, the monetary part of it is going to feel really scary, right, it's going to, it's going to trigger all of that survival stuff. So just know that that's normal. Don't beat yourself up about it. Be the neutral observer and say, okay, yeah, that's interesting, I got some more work to do there and I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

Speaker 1: 28:37

Part of this, of this, too, like one of my favorite sayings that I have to just kind of say to myself a lot sometimes is that nobody's coming to save you except you. Right, you can be your own hero, and that's what this self-belief is all about is being your own hero. Yes, a lot of us have great support systems. We have amazing spouses or mentors who are helping us be the person we want to be. That's awesome. I hope that you have at least one person in your life that you can rely on like that. So that's not what I really mean by like no one's coming to save you. At the end of the day, no one is coming to do the work for you.

Speaker 1: 29:19

You do need to do these things to get yourself to where you want to go, but it doesn't mean you have to beat yourself up about it Because, remember, your intuition is never going to be a jerk. It's not going to be mean. It definitely can be forceful, but it's not going to be mean. So if you've got a mean, nasty voice in there, your internal saying right, your internal saboteur, that's not your intuition, that is not. That is your built-in safety mechanism, that is the amygdala, the old brain. There's a lot of different ways to frame that, but it is not your intuition and it is not your higher self. Your higher self wants you to be happy and successful and loving and living a beautiful life. So creating this unshakable self-belief is going to help you achieve these dreams and goals so much faster.

Speaker 1: 30:12

And the main thing that I really want you guys to get from this little episode today is that having a strong self-belief is what gets you through everything that we're going through right now. Like I said, it's really easy to believe in yourself when things are going well, but when it's not going well, that's when it's really important, because the self-belief is really crucial for creating the life that you desire, even when you don't have immediate proof of its effectiveness, and by understanding the science behind the self-belief and implementing these practical techniques, you can rewire your brain for success. This is a lot of what I do inside of coaching. Again, not everything works for each person. For some people, journaling is like magic. For other people it just doesn't stick. You've got to find what works for you, and a good coach is not going to just tell you hey, this is, this is exactly what you should do. It works exactly for me, it works for all my clients, it's going to work exactly for you too. That's not the case, you know. That's what it means to really work one-on-one with someone is to dig in and figure out how it's going to work for you.

Speaker 1: 31:22

So if you're ready to transcend the unconscious thoughts and patterns and behaviors that are holding you back, I invite you to explore some of my coaching programs. I do have Elevate, which is a group coaching program, and I do have a one-on-one program. But we don't always accept one-on-one clients year round and I did pull back on that currently because I've just got a lot going on. But you can always reach out and get on my wait list and just inquire about that program because I love working with people one-on-one. It is probably the most fulfilling work that I do, because I really love seeing those light bulbs go off and I love working with people one-on-one. It is probably the most fulfilling work that I do, because I really love seeing those light bulbs go off and I love seeing people make these changes. I get DMs from past clients all the time letting me know hey, I know we haven't worked together in the last six months, but here's all the things that have happened. That's like the best thing ever.

Speaker 1: 32:15

But regardless of however you do it, I want you to build an unshakable self-belief so that you can achieve your dreams. I know you can do it. I see proof of it every day and you are going to find proof of whatever you're looking for thanks to that reticular activating system. So what are you looking for? Your beliefs are going to shape your reality. Choose to believe in yourself, no matter what, and until next time, keep growing, expanding and evolving. You've got this and I am always cheering for you. So until next time, love you.