Speaker 1: 0:00

Welcome to Tried and True with the Dash of Woo, where we blend rock-solid tips with a little bit of magic. I'm Renee Bowen, your host, life and business coach and professional photographer at your service. We are all about getting creative, diving into your business and playing with manifestation over here. So are you ready to get inspired and have some fun? Let's dive in. Hey friends, welcome back to Tried and True with the Dash of Woo. I'm your host, renee Bowen.

Speaker 1: 0:30

I am doing another audio only episode this week because it has just been straight up chaotic the last couple of weeks. We started the year and then things just got a little heavy right. This week, specifically, has been really heavy. So the fires here in Los Angeles have caused so much unimaginable loss homes, memories, a sense of safety that so many of us take for granted and it feels really strange, almost wrong, to be talking about work or business in the midst of all of this. It's really weird and I'm going to be honest with you. I didn't really want to produce a podcast this week, but I also felt called to share what's been on my mind and my heart, because for many of us, you know, life has to keep going on right, even when the world feels like it's falling apart around us, and as a solopreneur, a photographer, a coach for other photographers and creatives, if I don't work I don't make money, and if I don't make money my family doesn't survive. You know, my husband is an actor and a writer and a director and that industry in general has just tanked since the pandemic. It came back a little bit and then we had the strikes and it hasn't really fully recovered. And now the fires happened and Los Angeles is an entertainment town, you know, not just the forward facing people like actors, but all the crew, people who work on these sets. Like we were already crippled, basically because so much production has left this city, mainly due to the fact that it's cheaper to film and other places. And I mean, I have to imagine that this latest round of tragedy with the fires is going to have long lasting effects for not just us here, but everybody. There's going to be a trickle down effect for sure, and not just in the entertainment space.

Speaker 1: 2:40

The other thing, too, that I'm seeing online that's extremely disheartening is that there's a lot of misinformation and there's a lot of bias toward people in LA. Everyone in LA is rich and everyone can afford to rebuild, but that is unfortunately not the case. A lot of people who lived in the Palisades neighborhood were in the entertainment industry, but a lot of them were people who bought those homes in the 60s and 70s when they were affordable, and they could never buy them again now. I have seen countless stories on social media of these elderly people in specific losing literally everything, and they're in their 80s and 90s, and most of these people had their fire insurance canceled because we've known for a while that fires are going to get worse, and so a lot of these people do not have insurance and do not have the means to rebuild. And even if they did get insurance money, they would get a fraction of what that house is truly worth. So I have a whole list of GoFundMe accounts in the show notes.

Speaker 1: 3:47

If you are called to help, I would highly encourage you to find a family or two and just give a little bit. It could be five or 10 bucks, like even little, tiny amounts. Truly help these people because they've lost everything. I specifically saw someone yesterday who has two kids with autism and they lost everything, and it was a home that had been passed down through the generations to the mom. So I can't imagine, you know, as a mom of a special needs son and I had three kids very, very close in age, and I have animals, and now they're price gouging. So homes that were, you know, were already really high, let's be honest, because our rental market is already catastrophically high are now ridiculous because they know people need it, which is truly, truly awful and evil. So if you do see that, by the way, you can report it and I'll put that information in the show notes as well, because we should be reporting that. So those are just some ways that you can help if you're not local to LA. A lot of us are volunteering our time and our resources as well. I'm doing a little bit of everything, but, all that to say, it's been a heavy week, you know. So my main reason for producing this show this week is to help, to try and provide some clarity, as well as resources, as I just mentioned, because I do feel like I need to use whatever platform I have to help those in need and, like so many, I've been feeling the weight of this moment, but I know that part of my own healing is finding purpose and clarity, even when it feels like there's none to be found. So that's what I want to talk about today.

Speaker 1: 5:30

Humans really crave certainty. It's something that we really really desire, and I think that beginning with the pandemic is when most of us if you hadn't experienced a major trauma before that I think that was our first taste of oh, we really don't have certainty and we really don't have control over pretty much anything other than our own actions and reactions. So that's why it was so jarring for most of us. You know, those of you who have experienced some kind of trauma before, that you already knew, right, and a lot of people have. But for most of us, I think you know, the pandemic was our first taste of the fact that we can't control external events and the realization that we can only take responsibility for our own actions and reactions. So you know, you can use the metaphor of weather, which seems very timely, but you know you can't stop the wind. But we can decide how we're going to anchor ourselves in it and decide how we can recover when the wind is catastrophic.

Speaker 1: 6:38

All that to say, I think it's really okay to feel scared, lost or hopeless right now. So if that's where you're at, that's where you're at this podcast and my platform in general is not about toxic positivity and feeling like, oh, this is a blessing and you just don't know the blessing yet. Okay, I might deeply believe that, but this is probably not the time to be saying that to people who have lost everything. And if you're listening and you've lost your home or you know someone who has because I think all of us in LA know at least one person, most of us know multiple people who have lost their homes but if you've lost something, or your safety or just your sense of direction, I want you to know that it's okay to not feel okay right now. You don't have to make meaning out of this right now and telling someone who just lost everything that it's just a home, things can be replaced. That's not helpful. So just be compassionate and if you don't know what to say, ask right Like it's okay to be honest and say you know what? I have never experienced anything like this before, so I don't know what is appropriate to say. Please let me know how I can help you.

Speaker 1: 7:51

For me, silently donating is really kind of the only thing I feel empowered to do at this time, because I don't know what to say to a lot of these people, but I do know that us lending our compassion and our energy is very powerful. So simply letting someone know that you are compassionate and, while you can't truly understand what they're going through, you would like to help in some way, that can be extremely powerful. Right now, it's our humanity and in times like this we really really see everyone's. You know true colors, but honestly, it's really about seeing how everyone feels about themselves. That's really kind of what is coming to the surface for me Anytime I see any rude or not great comments about people who've lost everything. It's truly just a reflection of how that person feels about themselves and is based on their perspective of how they were raised, on their experiences, their map of the world, and you never know what other people have gone through.

Speaker 1: 9:05

So it's not my place to necessarily judge them, but I do feel like it is part of my purpose to help spread the opposite message and to help people see that it is a choice you know we do have a choice daily whether we want to rely on our past experiences or whether we want to create a better future for ourselves and for the world, which all starts with self-love. It all starts with how you feel about yourself and if you have deep-seated trauma, if you have deep-seated hatred for yourself because of the things that you have experienced in your life, I do know that it is possible to work through those. I'm not giving you the exact blueprint because your life is very specific to you, but I have seen people choose to walk a different path. It is about taking some personal responsibility there, right, but the beginning of that is that you have to sit with it. You got to sit with the uncomfortableness. You can't work through something without looking at it and without becoming that neutral observer of it, and that is really hard for a lot of people. But I'm here to tell you that if you can't get to like the positive, good feeling place yet, at least try and work to become a neutral observer. And some of the things that I like to do when I'm having a hard time and feeling particularly charged up about something is trying to envision that situation in black and white, like just desaturating the color from it, envisioning myself floating above it so not necessarily right in the thick of it, but floating above it and just watching it go down, watching the interaction. You can also envision yourself looking at it through a security camera with no sound and no color right. So take some of the emotion out of it. And most of us are visual people. If you're listening to this, you're probably a photographer or creative entrepreneur, so using visuals like that can be really powerful. All that to say, try and get to a neutral place.

Speaker 1: 11:15

If you are having a hard time even feeling compassion for these people, it could be bringing up some things for you that you thought you might have already dealt with. This could be triggering for a lot of reasons. In general, you know themes of letting go, cleansing, purging, loss, grief, so give yourself some grace and be kind to yourself. That's literally the best gift you can give to everyone, because it's only from that place of kindness to yourself and love to yourself that you'll be able to extend that same thing to other people. And I want to talk for a second about finding some clarity in this chaos, because you guys know that I'm really big on clarity. It's my golden thread, right. It is the core of, I think, all of my teaching and my platform here on coaching, and I even have a whole methodology for finding clarity. I feel like that's one of my gifts is being able to help you guys find that in your business and in your life. So I want to share some actionable tips for you guys to ground yourself and to take some small steps forward.

Speaker 1: 12:20

Whether you are affected by these fires or not, because there's a lot of you guys who are not in LA. Whether you are affected by these fires or not, because there's a lot of you guys who are not in LA, I realize that. And if you're not here, you know it is business as usual for you and that's totally fine. That's normal. However, you might be feeling the effects of it, you know. You might be having a hard time focusing because of social media, or because you feel called to help, or you feel powerless or whatever it is. You might just be having a hard time grounding yourself and getting clarity in general, because the start of this year has just been really chaotic, you know, for so many people.

Speaker 1: 13:00

So the first thing is to pause and reflect Right. Like I was saying before, acknowledge those feelings without judgment. That's the main thing here is that you want to just try and identify what it is that's coming to the surface for you right now. Whatever you're dealing with, I mean, it could be completely unrelated to what's going on here in LA, but the idea is that you want to identify this without judgment. A good way to do this and something I love to do, is just brain dumping. You know, on paper journaling, but like just free flowing. You know, get that pen on the paper.

Speaker 1: 13:35

There's definitely a neurological thing that happens when you journal and then just dump out all those feelings that come to the surface for you, because a lot of times it's really hard for us to see it unless we actually physically put it on paper. Swimming in your head can feel like just too much. So get it out on paper, get it written out, get it in physical form. That's a really big piece of this, I feel like, and you really do want to simplify your decisions. Okay, so focus on one small actionable step at a time. It can feel daunting to feel like you've got to get everything done, whatever that is, but what is the next right step for you today? Maybe just identify three things you need to get done this week and just take one little baby step at a time. Can you put some of this stuff off as well? That's the other thing. Some of you can't. Some of you are launching products or launching your senior rep team.

Speaker 1: 14:30

If you're a high school senior photographer, a lot of people in my group coaching program elevate. That's what they're going through right now, and so that is taking up a lot of our discussion, even my one-on-one coaching clients as well. Because this is the time of year in January where we sign up our senior rep team, which sets the stage for the rest of our senior photography business for the rest of the year. Can you possibly push off your signups just a little bit longer if things are not going the way that they usually go? A lot of the photographers in my communities are seeing fewer signups and harder to reach clients, because you know social media has made it a little bit harder for us to contact our teen clients.

Speaker 1: 15:10

So what are the strategies involved here? Right, whatever you're doing, you may not be signing up a senior rep team, but my point is are there some pieces that can be taken care of later, or are you on a really hard deadline? If you're on a really hard deadline, okay, then break it down into those little simple steps. What actually needs to be done first. Break it down into those little simple steps. What actually needs to be done. First, prioritize, and if you have a hard time with any of this, I totally get it Having a spicy brain and then having all of these distractions. It can be hard.

Speaker 1: 15:40

But try and reconnect. Take a minute, do some meditation, hypnosis, go outside, put your feet on some grass, if you can. If you're not in a snowy area, do something that's going to feel grounding for you. I mean that could be a hot bath. You know, be intentional about it. That's the main thing is be intentional. You can also reconnect with your purpose. Remind yourself why you do what you do. If you've worked with me, you've done this kind of work and maybe you just need to reconnect with it. You know meditate kind of work and maybe you just need to reconnect with it. Meditate on your purpose and your why statement that we crafted. And if you haven't done that, I highly suggest you dig into that. That's a core piece of coaching with me. It's one of the first things we do.

Speaker 1: 16:18

It doesn't matter if you've been in business for 20 plus years. We're going to start there, because I walk people through it in a very specific way. That's a little bit different than probably a lot of people do it. I think if you don't feel connected to your purpose, you're going to have a very hard time marketing. You're going to have a hard time expressing why you do what you do, because then it just becomes all about I just need to make money and nobody cares about that. Yeah, you might be an amazing photographer and you might be lucky enough to have an influx of clients who are drawn to your work on social media. Let's say you have a big platform. If you don't know how to speak to those potential leads and convert them to paying clients and activate them to purchase from you, you won't have a business. So it's really important to dig into this. So I want you to ask yourself what is one small thing that I can control today? Let that question become your anchor.

Speaker 1: 17:10

Another thing that's really helping me with getting clarity right now is practicing gratitude. Like I'm just doubling down on my gratitude. I mean, you know, if you live in this area and you haven't lost everything, you are just automatically super grateful. But a lot of us are also dealing with like survivors guilt, right, like so guilt that we do have a home. And then there's this constant wind change. You know, when the winds change directions, it's like, okay, I'm out of the woods, but that means someone else is in danger, so you feel guilty about that. It's a lot to be dealing with and that's also something that I've been grappling with as well.

Speaker 1: 17:47

So something that's helping me is staying in gratitude just in general, just being thankful in general and not allowing myself to, you know, beat myself up, like when that guilt sort of like pokes its head up, just saying, oh, okay, thanks for sharing. We don't really need to go down that road right now, because that road is going to take me to self-sabotage, that road is going to take me to beating myself up. Road is going to take me to self-sabotage. That road is going to take me to beating myself up. It's going to take me to judgment, and that's not where I want to go. I want to stay in the light. I want to stay in a place of love and empathy for other people, which means I have to have love and empathy for myself.

Speaker 1: 18:26

So practicing some gratitude I have a lot of journaling that I've been doing on specific things and also allowing what is coming up for me as far as loss, right, so you know, if you've experienced a lot of loss or have grief. Like I said before, some of this could be triggering. If you feel safe and comfortable to lean into that, it can be a really powerful practice, because this is possibly a call for us to do that in our own lives, right? So where in my life can I release control? Where in my life am I not living my true story? Is it possibly someone else's story that I am experiencing, and how can I be more open to receiving my own story? You know, finding our sense of purpose usually entails us lending ourself in service to other people. So this is, you know, a great time to do that, obviously if you're here in LA, but even if you know, even if you're not, and you can donate your, your being of service. But let's talk about that with respect to our businesses for a second.

Speaker 1: 19:38

Okay, a lot of you guys have a hard time raising your prices or seeing yourself in a luxury market because you yourself are not that target client. You yourself would not spend, you know, five to $7,000 on a photography experience or a high ticket coaching experience or whatever it is you're selling and offering, because you yourself wouldn't pay that Okay. So it's really hard for you to put yourself in the shoes of your target client. But that's a really, really important piece of this. That first part is understanding your purpose and your why, and then the other piece of it is okay, well, who am I speaking to and what do they value, and going really deep with that, obviously.

Speaker 1: 20:20

But the other thing about all of this is that, at the end of the day, sales is service, especially at a luxury level, because nobody really needs most of what we're selling, right Like? There's very few of us in the online digital course space or photography space where you know what we are offering and selling to our clients is actually a necessity. It's not food, shelter and water, right? Yes, what we're offering betters the lives of other people, but they are not necessities. So how are we showing the value of what we do and how are we leaning into the service? Part of it Because, at the end of the day, most of us really do want to help other people, and so if we can tie our sales to service, we're going to have a better outcome just in general, not only because our target clients are going to feel that level of service, but we're going to feel good, and when you feel good and you feel in service and of purpose. You are going to want to do it more and you're going to find joy in everything that you do.

Speaker 1: 21:26

So it's not just about I got to put food on the table, right, like, yeah, we all have to put food on the table, okay, but how are you deeply affecting other people's lives? And if you are providing a high level service, a luxury service, you have an opportunity to really impact other people in a truly different way. Right, so that's different than, like the photographer who is doing, you know, a whole bunch of $100, $200 sessions and giving all the digitals. It's very different than you know, charging a premium price for what you do, because you can spend more time with your clients, fostering relationships and meaning, so that it goes much further and deeper than just pictures or whatever offer that you have. Connection is really what most people want Connection and meaning.

Speaker 1: 22:20

And look, if you're a photographer listening to this and you are doubting the value of what you do, all you have to do is pop on social media for just a second. You're going to see at least five to 10 people who have lost their entire homes, and one of the main things that they mentioned first is that they have no photos. What we do is important and the physical representation of them is important, because many of these people who did live in those homes since the sixties and 70s, these elderly people, they don't have a digitized representation of their lives. Yeah, we should have everything backed up in the cloud. Yeah, but I don't know about you, but I have, I mean, crates and bins of photos to digitize. So that is a really cool thing that we can do, but having a physical representation of these memories it's really hard to replace, right?

Speaker 1: 23:12

What we do is important, especially those of us who run boutique businesses. I really think that the relationships that we create with our clients are far more than just transactional. I mean, how many of us have had past clients reach out to us because they've lost someone, that we were the person who took that last photo or the best photos of that person? Unfortunately, I've had that happen with children. They've lost their kids to cancer and I was the one who took the last photos of this child. What we do is important and the way in which you do it is very unique to you Getting really deep clarity on your specific uniqueness and purpose and how you express that in your marketing will carry your business through any tough time. Truly, I saw it firsthand during the pandemic. I started a group coaching program right before the pandemic started in 2019. I was already coaching people one-on-one well before that, but in 2019, I started a group coaching program and I saw firsthand how important it was for us to have this really deep clarity on these pieces, because it was the photographers who didn't quit first of all. It was the photographers who didn't quit and who doubled down on their mindset throughout that process that were able to not only pull themselves through it but thrive Like.

Speaker 1: 24:42

2021 was an amazing year for most of my clients. 2022 brought some changes and we continue to be in flux, you know, as always, because you know we are at the whim of the economy, so to speak. But I'm a really big believer that when you create your business from a true sense of purpose your purpose and you understand how to express that very clearly in your marketing and you are able to connect in a deep way to your target clients and you are running a sustainable, profitable business with prices that support that, anything is possible, truly, because everything is a choice. At the end of the day, you have a choice every single day on how you're going to show up for yourself, for your family, for the world. Everything is a choice. You are not a victim.

Speaker 1: 25:36

A lot of us have experiences in our past that keep us in a place of victimhood. I'm definitely guilty of that as well, and there are moments that I've had running my business multiple times, especially within the last four years, where I have felt like either burning it down to the ground or I really wish someone would just come to save me Jeez. But nobody's coming to save us. Right, we are. We're coming to save us. We are our own hero, we are our own cheerleader.

Speaker 1: 26:13

When you have self-awareness, you have tools, you have resources to help you redirect, get back on track. You have support, whether that is a supportive family partner or, like in my group coaching program or even in my free communities. Having support is really, really important because you don't feel alone. You feel like I'm not the only one going through this, and it's easier to get back on track because it's not about how much you get off track. It's about how quickly you can get back on track. You are well resourced. You may not even see how well resourced you are If you're feeling stuck and overwhelmed and stressed about your business. Specifically, I want you to make a list of how well resourced you are.

Speaker 1: 27:01

Okay, what have you done to help move your business forward? And that could be little things as well as big things. It could be yeah, it could be signing up for coaching or it could be investing in yourself, but it could also look like I got out today and I accomplished one thing off my list I emailed some clients, I did some outreach, I posted on social media, I did some outbound engagement. All of those little, tiny things matter and add up and most of the time, we just sort of gloss over them because we like to beat ourselves up. So, even if you just can notice the little things that you're doing for yourself and your business, that's going to feel very supportive for you right now and it's going to help you get back on track, because this is not about being perfect. It's about being resilient.

Speaker 1: 27:47

And if there's anything that we need all of us collectively as small, creative business owners in 2025 and going forward because I don't think it's going to stabilize honestly, for a while, there's going to be a lot of things out of our control. There's one thing that we really need to double down on is our resilience. How much do you want it? How bad do you want it? How obsessed with your success and your service are you? How bad do you want to serve these clients? What is the mark you want to leave on the world? What is the legacy you want to leave behind? And how are you showing up every day, even in the face of great uncertainty and seemingly hopelessness, even when everything feels like it's burning down, literally or metaphorically?

Speaker 1: 28:35

I really believe that we have the power to rebuild, one small step, one small decision at a time, having the ability to break things down into the most important things and these little, small steps. That is a really big factor in success, truly. And yes, a lot of us have brains that are all over the place, but I work with so many of you guys with spicy brains and I have one too. I get it. It's possible. I see it happen every day in my coaching. You can learn how to control that part of your brain. It takes effort and it takes you wanting to do it and it takes you choosing to do it every day.

Speaker 1: 29:16

I always talk about those non-negotiables, but it's really not as hard as you feel it is, especially once you start working with someone who can help you break it down, okay, and sometimes that's just what you need. So if that's you, I'm here for you. I do have some coaching spots open right now. I normally don't open up one-off sessions which are meaning like just one coaching session, because I prefer to work with people in three month or six month packages, because I feel like we can get so much more done in that way. But maybe you don't have the capacity to do that at the moment. So I am opening up some one-on-one coaching spots and most of the proceeds from those will go to contributing to more GoFundMe accounts to individual people who really need it right now.

Speaker 1: 30:06

But I do love working with you guys to find clarity. I really do. It's part of what lights me up and it's part of my legacy, I believe, and my purpose here. So even if you just know someone who is in that place of uncertainty or overwhelm, feel free to point them in my direction. I am happy to help. You guys can DM me on Instagram at any time at Renee Bowen. I do have a little bot that answers for me when I'm not available, but I always check my messages and get back to you as well.

Speaker 1: 30:31

So, remember, be good to yourself today, because that's where everything starts. Okay, you can't be good to anybody else If you're beating up on yourself inside. I hope you have an amazing rest of your week. Don't forget to check out the GoFundMe links below or donate to some of your own. Do what you can with what you have, and thanks for being here with me. Thanks for listening to me rant, thank you for being in my communities and for checking in on us. That's been so sweet. Like so many of you guys have reached out to me, because you guys know I live in SoCal, so many people have just reached out to make sure that my family is safe and that means so much to me. Thank you, I love you guys. Bye.