SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Today's episode is being sponsored by the Peak Senior Summit happening February 3rd through 5th of this year. I participated in this summit last year, and it was so fun and so awesome that I decided absolutely yes, I will contribute again. And I'm teaching something a little different this year. But you guys, you can register for this for free. And one of the things that I love about participating in this summit in particular is that you can learn about all kinds of different things as it relates to senior photography. So it's not just marketing, which is what I'm teaching, it's also shooting and lighting and editing and booking clients, getting clients, workflows, systems, automations. There's so many different amazing instructors involved, and you can get access to all of it for free. And yes, it is virtual. I'm gonna make this very easy and simple for you. So I'm gonna put the link in the show notes. Whether you're watching this on YouTube or you're listening on whatever podcast platform you listen to, the link is gonna be below. Grab your free ticket. And once you do, you're gonna have the option to upgrade to the peak all access pass, which is super affordable as well, because you also get more bonus items, extra trainings, and these are gonna help you implement what you learn in the summit. If you have any questions at all, hit me up on Instagram in the DMs. I'm happy to chat with you about it. But I don't participate in things that I actually don't believe in and that I wouldn't buy into as well. So I think you guys are gonna love it. If you are a senior photographer or you wanna be, definitely grab your free ticket today. Welcome to Tried and True with The Dash of Woo, where we blend rock solid tips with a little bit of magic. I'm Renee Bowen, your host, life and business coach, and professional photographer. At your service, we are all about getting creative, diving into your business, and playing with manifestation over here. So are you ready to get inspired and have some fun? Let's dive in. Hey, welcome back to the show. Tried and true with a dash of woo. I am your host, Renee Bowen. I hope you guys are all doing fantastic. So I am extra excited about today's conversation because my guest is just a magical person in general. And she also happens to be somebody that I know in real life. Uh, she's in the mixer mind with me, and she's just a delightful human with the best energy. Like, I can't even, you guys are gonna love her. And we're also talking about something that I think every single one of you has either avoided, underestimated, or put on that someday list, which is speaking, speaking on stages, but we're also talking about speaking on your lives, on your stories, showing up, your visibility for your business, for your brand. A lot of you guys are super triggered when you got to show your face or, you know, speak with your mouth instead of just typing, right? So it's not that we're talking just about the kind of speaking, you know, that requires a TED stage. Um I'm talking about using your voice as the bridge between who you are and the people who need to hear you. So my guest today knows a lot about that world. She knows it inside and out, in fact. Her name is Lori Ann Murabito, and she is a professional speaker, a visibility coach, a leadership expert, a best-selling author, and the host of Be in Demand, which is ranked in the top 1.5% of all podcasts. But the part that I really love the most is that she wasn't born to be this confident, grounded speaker that you see today. She actually couldn't make eye contact with people, like full body panic would happen and, you know, complete shutdown energy. So I think a lot of us can identify with that. And through a mix of identity work, visualization techniques that she actually started using long before she really understood what she was doing, and a belief that she meets the most interesting people wherever she goes. She built a career that literally revolves around being seen. So today we're breaking down the part of visibility that nobody really talks about, the part where you have to decide who you want to be before you ever stand in front of a single person. And we go deep into a whole lot more too. So let's get into it. All right, Lorian, I want to start right at the beginning with you, uh, because I know you in real life, and I would never have guessed this. But your story, like you've been very forthcoming talking about the fact that you were painfully shy. Okay. You're this polished speaker, you seem to be super outgoing just in in in real life, too. But you didn't start out that way. You struggle even with eye contact, you said. So take us back to what was that version of you like, okay? And what did that shy girl believe about herself? And how did you end up here?

SPEAKER_02: 4:54

I was the person who was looking down at the floor. So I considered myself to be an expert in tile floors and sneakers. And it all happened because of um my family used to live overseas. And like this, this part of my story I don't normally tell. I lived overseas for a couple of years. I went to a Catholic Gallgirl school, like here in the US. I went to a public school, and one day I walked into class, and this, so this is in Japan, and like I'm five foot ten, you know, without any shoes on. So I'm towering over people, anyways. And one day I walk into class and nobody's talking to me. So we didn't call it bullying back then. I just called it they were being mean and nobody talked to me for pretty much about seven months of the of the school year.

SPEAKER_01: 5:44

Wow.

SPEAKER_02: 5:45

So when somebody's like not talking to you, it's like you like I lost my voice. I just I hid behind a book. So that's probably where I taught myself no eye contact. But I later on, when I came back to the to the US and I had this job, and there was this guy that I worked with, and I just watched him the way that he talked to people and made eye contact. And I was like, I want to do that. So I tried. Like just a couple of seconds, and literally was just like, let a couple seconds, let me look at somebody in the eye while they're talking to me, while I talk to them, and then I can look away. And I noticed that the earth did not open up and swallow me whole. The person I was talking to did not laugh at me. So I literally said to myself, huh, if I could do that, I bet I could do it a little longer. And so that's how I taught my nervous system to do new tricks and make eye contact and speak with people, and that just led to another thing and another thing. And then one day I accidentally said yes to a speaking opportunity. And what that looked like was, you know, we women, we just network differently. And it was me and like three other women were putting together this event. It's gonna be networking with education, and the three of them pointed at me and said, You do the speaking. My head did this, it went up and down. And inside I was like, What are you doing? You're not a speaker. But self-integrity is one of my highest values. And I showed up and I served the audience. Now I kind of went against one of the things that I teach people now, which is speak on your expertise. I did not speak on my expertise back then. I was just like, oh, I think this is what the audience needs to hear about. And that's what and I taught them something about websites. It's kind of you know, like it's kind of funny now looking back on it. I had no ending. And Renee, you've done some speaking yourself. Yeah. And so you know, like there's an ending, there's a call to action, you put a pretty bow on your presentation. Here's what I said. Okay, I'm done now. So I know it's hilarious now that I that now that I look back on it, but I tell people, like, you can be that terrible and like and still keep learning from your mistakes. And I just said, I'm done. I'll be in the back of the room if you want to talk to me. And people came up to me and said, Can you tell me more? Like, how do we work with you? And like, what else do you do and talk about? And I'm just like, what?

SPEAKER_00: 8:24

I love that so much because it was like, it's also really kind of ties into like this that true authenticity, right? Like at the end of the day, people are gonna connect with you and your resonance and the energy that you have. And I think that's a really big piece of, you know, not everybody listening today is a speaker or wants to be a speaker, but most of you listening run your own businesses in some way. You know, you're you're doing you're doing this thing where you kind of have to show up for your business. And this is something I talk about a lot, uh, especially with the creative women in my in my circles. It's a thing, right? That you just really feel that that that feeling of being perceived is so incredibly hard for so, so many women, especially. And I think it's a lot, you know, to do with our programming. And that's like a lot of different ways, you know, but like our own personal programming, but also like our generalized programming as women, right? Um, so I love that first of all, you you know, noticed this about yourself. And then you were shown this contrast by like seeing this this guy who seemed because again, like men, right? Like they just kind of show up with like the utmost confidence. You're like, Where where'd you get this audacity? Right. But again, they are programmed differently than we are. And I feel like as women, when we see that, like I think it's just really interesting that it didn't intimidate you in that way, it showed you, oh, I if he can, I can. And I love that piece of it because we could, it could have gone the other way.

SPEAKER_02: 10:07

Yeah, it absolutely could have. And his name is Richard, Richard Gazardi. No surprise to anybody who's probably listening. He went into sales, he was just like so friendly and outgoing. And, you know, just before I tried that, like, let me just try making eye contact with somebody. I literally got a download that was like, Lorian, this behavior is not gonna serve you in the long run. And I was just like, Yeah, I guess you're right. And like I can look back on it now with my more adult and more experienced eyes and realize I was just I was hiding, even though I was five foot ten, I was so small, so very small.

SPEAKER_00: 10:48

Yeah, and we keep ourselves that way for a long time, I feel like, just in general for various reasons. And I mean, obviously it's it goes back to our beliefs that are built upon this programming, like we were just talking about. But looking back and like having this perspective now, what were the beliefs that you had to let go of to step into this person? Because you actually kind of have to become a different version of yourself. Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_02: 11:14

Yes. Who did I become? I think I really started to, and this is before I knew anything about visualization or like like how my thoughts changed things, and how I, if I wrote things down, like I was so surprised later on. Like I had one of those digital, so I can't think of like what it's called, right? It was a PDA, that's what it was. I had one of these, and this was when I was in healthcare. And I remember like one day just like typing in like, here are three goals that I want, and totally forgetting about it. And then, like years later, like not years, but later in the year, be like, oh my God, I wrote that down. Oh, that happened, that happened, that all three happened. And I was just like, huh. I wonder what else I should write down. I mean, I still don't write a lot of things down, but I'm I'm I'm reminding myself of it's happened so many times. And it was about, you know, like I wrote something down that obviously meant something to me. And who do I have to be to be to become the sort of person that that's in their life? And then I just like, oh, okay, like this is how I need to act. This is how I need to be. Like, I get up and go to the gym every day. Like, it's not a question, it's something that I started doing when I started working in a hospital. And in the Boston area, there's a ton of traffic. And I was just like, I'll tolerate traffic one way. So that's what got me to get up early and go to the gym before I went to the hospital. And I still do this today, but I also heard somebody once say, You got to earn your shower. Like, why but why bother showering if you haven't sweat for the day? Oh, I love it. I'm just like, all right, like that just worked for me. So I do think it's about finding something that does work for you. And so that was one. Now, being the shy girl, I'm going to networking events once I left my corporate job, and like that was awkward. So, what did I do? I took on the identity, I became the person who was running the networking event. And so I like, you know, like I am outgoing, but I consider myself to be an appropriate vert. I know when I need to be outgoing and when I can just like you know, like, all right, I need to go back to my my corner, my room, and just be quiet. But I realized being quiet and standing along the edge of the wall at the networking event wasn't going to do me any good. So I was just like, well, I'll just pretend like I'm running this party. And what do you do when you're running a party? You walk up to people. Hi, how are you? What brings you here? Who do you need to meet? I know exactly who to introduce you to. Follow me.

SPEAKER_01: 14:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 14:04

And I just kind of like stepped into this role and started connecting people.

SPEAKER_00: 14:10

And you feel like that made it easier for you to do that because it gave you like a an identity shift in that way, right?

SPEAKER_02: 14:18

Yeah. I just stepped into this different role when I was at networking events. This is who I needed to be. You know, you can call it pretending, you know, but isn't that what little kids do when they're younger? They put on like the they take off the um the pillowcase and they put it on, and now they're like Superman or Superwoman, and they just take on this identity. And I was just like, well, why can't I do this as an adult? I don't have to put a pillowcase on me to go to a networking event. But I can just pretend that this is my party and these are all of my guests.

SPEAKER_00: 14:53

I love that because okay, you probably know, like Todd Herman talks a lot about the identity, right? Like, even just wearing specific glasses, maybe when you are speaking or something like that. And when you put those on, they become your identity. But he also brings up the point that I mean, this is what most high-level performers that we love do, Beyoncé, Prince, you know, like most performers will tell you that's not how they are in real life. They don't walk around, you know, like doing that all day, but they step into that when they need to, when it is appropriate, and things like that. So I've always loved that idea. Like this is something that I've I've it's always in my mind because I too, I mean, I'm at the heart of very, I think I'm, you know, pretty introverted at the heart of it, which people are always like, what? And I'm like, no, really, like left to my own devices, I'm not gonna go up and talk to you. But in those instances, like we just got back from the retreat, right, in Mexico with the mixer mind. I was like, okay, well, part of me being here is me putting myself out there, being open, being vulnerable, walking up to people I don't know. Um, yes, there was a little bit of shorthand with some people, but not for many. And so I think that it is fun to play around with that, that pretend, right? Playing pretend, well, you can call it whatever you want to help you bridge that that moment of like terror. Yeah, because laugh.

SPEAKER_02: 16:25

You you know, it's just a lack of experience. And the only way to get experience is to actually do the thing. So, you know, for me to start speaking and stepping on stages and being in front of people, yeah, I had to make a lot of mistakes, but I had to like envision these other great speakers and like what kind of a speaker do I want to be? What's the like how do I want the audience to perceive me? Because like once you get to an event, like at least this is my opinion, like I'm on. I am on from the moment like I park my car, or actually, actually, even just driving there. There are certain things that I do, and once, you know, like you I step out of my car and I'm on site, like the first thing I do is I text the person who booked me. I'm here, so I'm one less thing for them to worry about. But then my job is to make them look like a rock star. So I have to greet other people. I have I want to say hello to people. And that's you know, like saying hello to people who are going to be in the audience, it's a great way to start feeling like I'm not talking to a room of strangers. Yeah, I'm talking to some people that I already met. And it becomes easier and easier.

SPEAKER_00: 17:34

I love that. Because you also are putting yourself in service of others in that moment too, which is always really helpful because I feel like all of that self-perception, it's, I mean, at the heart of it, it's very selfish when you think about it, right? Like, I mean, whether you're trying to show up online or show up on a stage, like that feeling that you get of like intimidation, that's a pretty self-centered sort of view, right? You're in your head being all about yourself. Exactly. You're not thinking about how your message or the people that hired you, how you're gonna make them look good, or you know what I mean? Like, so shifting it from, oh my God, it's all about me and everyone's looking at me, to no, I'm literally here to serve, to serve this audience.

SPEAKER_02: 18:20

Yeah, it is it is a very huge step. So when people say to me, like, I get nervous, I'm like, well, that's because you're focused on yourself and not about the audience. You're worried about what are they gonna think of me and not how can I serve them? What can I what's the gift that I can give people? Here's actually the one of two questions that I work with my clients. Like the very first thing, like we're we're writing a presentation. Here's what you got to do. There's two questions you got to answer. And one is what's the gift you want to give that audience? What do you want them to think, believe, feel, do when you're done speaking? That's the goal. Like we need to know where we're gonna end up. And that should be the the same question you ask with any conversation, everything from a sales call to you want to do like an IG story or an I you want to make like some sort of a short video, a reel. And then the second question is always what do you want to get out of this? Because you never speak for the sake of speaking. Those two are the goals. I love that. And I always want both of them, like the audience goal and yourself goal. I want those to both be accomplished in any sort of a conversation, a real speaking event.

SPEAKER_00: 19:39

So, what would you say to somebody who, you know, because I again a lot of what we're talking about today can definitely uh we can we can we can see it through the lens of all kinds of visibility. But you know, what you do, you you teach people how to own that stage and how to like really step into this. It's a Talk a little bit about the strategy piece just for a minute, too, because you're not just teaching people how to speak into a microphone, right? Like, I mean, we've established that it's a lot, it's so much more deeper. And again, feeling right. Like, I love that's one of the questions, starting questions that you start with. What do you wish more business owners, just in general, understood about speaking as a growth strategy?

SPEAKER_02: 20:28

Speaking and being that book speaker is something that AI just can't do. Like AI is making my job so easy because it is a way that you can connect, really connect with an audience. Now, everybody who's in your audience has already said a micro yes, whether they know you or not. I'm interested in this topic. I'm interested in this speech. I think I'm gonna have this problem in the very near future. So now they're in your in-person or virtual audience. And everybody who's there, like you as a speaker, this is your opportunity to showcase your expertise. So there's a very particular way that you actually need to write a speech if you're a business owner. And we are showcasing our expertise. And what that does is everybody that's in the audience can refer you. Everybody. And then there are going to be people who are going to take you up on your call to action, who are going to raise their hand, and I want to know more. I want to build a deeper relationship with this person. And that's what you bring them to a point in your speech, and everybody has the opportunity to say yes or no. So they'll either become clients, but everybody that's there can actually be referring you.

SPEAKER_00: 21:50

Yeah. I mean, it's really kind of powerful. Um, I was super, super hesitant to speaking. It's still not my favorite thing yet, but I'm on a mission to make myself now.

SPEAKER_02: 22:03

I don't I I don't believe I don't believe this because I saw you giving posing tips. Okay. Now that's so you may not have realized it, but yeah, you might have been like giving tips to that one person on how to stand and rock back and forth, and you were taking some pictures, and you had this other audience that was all behind you. You thought you were only serving that one person, but you were serving all of us.

SPEAKER_00: 22:34

Okay. Well, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 22:35

So it's just it's a different way to look at it.

SPEAKER_00: 22:38

Yes, I appreciate that person.

SPEAKER_02: 22:40

Yeah, you might be too putting too much pressure on yourself. I got another client who same thing, she's putting so much pressure on herself, and she's like, I just want to do panels. I go, Well, that's a nice way to hide. Yeah. She didn't like that answer.

SPEAKER_00: 22:55

It's the truth, though. Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_02: 22:59

But if that is the stepping stone to you telling your story and serving an audience, then I say, do it. Yeah. But I don't want you to stay there too long.

SPEAKER_00: 23:11

Yes, exactly. I agree. Because again, like for me, yeah, I feel so much safer being on a panel. It's not just me. Not all the eyes are on me. But it it actually, I want to talk for a second about some of that because there's a lot of like a lot of people are triggered by this. And I always say that there's gold in those triggers, right? That's why I'm a coach. That's why I do what I do. Because if like like Tony Robbins says, if you if you can't, you must. You know, we don't negotiate with our unconscious mind because that's not how we get really anything we want in life. That's how you live hypnotically and end up living a life that you hate. So if you want something bigger, better, or more, you gotta put yourself in some uncomfortable positions, but to trigger you into this next phase of growth, whatever you want to call it. Um, so for me, because it's so triggering, I have to lean in. I have to lean in. And so this, it can be true. Like again, I can show up on social media all day, every day. Like literally right now, I could open my phone and whip a reel out in two seconds, just off the top of my head. But put me on a stage with physical people, real, actual human beings looking at me in a room, I don't care if it's just 10 of them, I will get this rise of anxiety. Okay, so like, where does that come from? That's interesting. You know what I mean? Like back and thinking about why is that such a powerful trigger for me? So I know that this is a lot of the work that you have to be doing with your clients because that's why they come to you so that they can work through this, not just get like this amazing strategy for when they're on stage. You can't even deliver it if you don't deal with this shit, right? Yeah. So how do you how do you suggest somebody work through that in the first phases of it at least, right?

SPEAKER_02: 25:08

So I believe in building your own stage. So you already said, like, hey, I could easily pick up like Instagram, but learning to look into a camera and have a conversation and just deliver a tip. I mean, like, that's a skill that you are learning. So, how can we take that skill and build upon it so that when you are on a stage, it becomes easier and easier. So, some of the tips that I would tell you to do is what I mentioned earlier, get there and start meeting the people who are gonna be in the audience. They're gonna be so excited that they are getting to meet the speaker before the speaker gets on stage. And you're probably gonna hear, oh my God, Renee, I came here to hear to hear you speak. I got to go get my seat now. Yes. And like, you know, like so they're gonna be excited that they got to meet you, and you might be able to infuse their story into your speech, which is always lovely for people in the audience. And then when you're on the stage, you know, it's like, where is your energy? I do a pre-speaking routine. I tell all my clients to do this also. Like, what is something that you can do that gets your energy, raises your energy so that the best version of you shows up? For me, it's a couple of songs, put my airpods on, kick off my heels, and I'm usually walking back and forth in some service hallway. That's what I'm doing. I'm it's music and movement for me. And then I show up. And when you're on that stage, I mean, take a moment, make eye contact with not everybody. Because that might be look so overwhelming. How about one person and then another person? And I'm not talking about like you say, like one word, one word, one word. I'm talking about like a sentence where you are literally connecting with a person. And here's a theater tip. We say, like, and this is what we say in the speaking world like honor the cheap seats first. So if you're getting have some tickets to the theater, the tickets that are all the way in the back, that are all the way up, those are the cheaper seats. So acknowledge the people that are in the back first and bring your eyes to the people that are in the front row. That's gonna give you time to also relax. And when you know, like I'm not a big fan of memorizing your speech, unless you're doing a TED talk, in which case you only have 15 minutes, so you gotta make sure you get all those words in. Yeah, your beginning and your ending are the two places to memorize. And the beginning, because so your opening and your authority section, I want you to memorize those so that they just fall out of your your mouth. Because as you're having those butterflies and you're a little nervous, you already know exactly what to say. Like your body knows what I'm gonna say. And it just flows. And by the time that you're done those two sections, those butterflies are gone. Yeah. And you will have connected with the audience, and so that anxiety that you're experiencing is gonna go down. And then there's also the point of you know, you don't have to start with an audience of 10,000. Okay, folks, like I love little audiences. Give me 25, 30 people any day because I will have met them or listened, you know, to who they are, and then I will point them out during my presentation. Like Renee is a photographer, and she is, and I'll like incorporate that like into my speech, and I'll do that for multiple people. So there's so many fun ways that you can just make it a fun experience for the audience.

SPEAKER_00: 28:49

You're almost kind of looking at it, you can gamify it, right? Like that a little bit, right? Like, oh, I want her, you know, and you can kind of give your unconscious mind a little, a little game with it too. Like, I wonder who I'm gonna meet, or I wonder what's, you know, what's gonna show up for me here, too, like unexpected things, right? Like, so that you can kind of get excited about it because anxiety and excitement, same chemicals in the brain and in the body. So you can kind of shift it, like, oh no, I'm not anxious, I'm just very excited.

SPEAKER_02: 29:21

Have you read um Dr. Benjamin Hardy's Be Your Future Self Now? Have you read that book?

SPEAKER_00: 29:27

I have not.

SPEAKER_02: 29:27

Okay. In the beginning, he's got this great perspective. I mean, first off, your future self is gonna be here one day, where you whether you like it or not. So why not plan on who that person's going to be so that it's who you want? In the beginning of the book, he talks about how he looks at um like his time with his children. He says, he goes, I come home from the office and I park the car, and he goes, I mentally prepare for going in the house, and I pretend that I got to hit the rewind button on this evening. He goes, This is my second chance. He goes, I get to redo all the faux pas. So, how do I want this evening to go? And I I love that. So I'm I'm thinking about this like in regards to speaking or you know, like recording a podcast. It's like I got to hit the rewind button, I get to do this again. So, version two, what do I want this to be like? So I'm thinking, like, for you, like you're about to step onto that stage. I mean, can you imagine just thinking, I've already done this? I already did my dress rehearsal. Yeah. Doing this again, and here's what I'm changing.

SPEAKER_00: 30:39

Ooh, yeah, that's fun. I really like that. That's a really nice little shift, just for, like you said, any of those little pieces. And like for me, you know, I had to do this 90-minute talk last year. And I was like, 90 minutes, guys, like really like that's a long ass time to be the only person talking. And they didn't want it to be like a workshop where it's like super interactive. I was like, 'I'm gonna so I mean, it ended up going really, really well. It was it went really, really well in in multiple ways, um, which a lot of those surprised me. But like going into it, it was just it seemed very like insurmountable. Um, and my husband is an actor. And so I was having this conversation with him, and you know, he's been acting his whole life. And I was like, I don't know why this like feels so big. Like this just feels like super hard for me. And he's like, Well, you've got a while. Like they booked me really far in advance. He's like, You've got a lot of time. He's like, just prep. He's like, honestly, it's just prep. Just do it over and over and over again out loud in front of me, in front of your computer. Just practice. He's like, left literally most of the game. He's like, that's like, that's how he learned to do what he does, right? Like, you show up on set, you gotta know what you're gonna say. And it depends on the director. Sometimes they're going to give you some leeway to improv, and sometimes they want you to stick to the script. So that memorization has to be there, but yeah, you're feeling, you're an actor, you you're feeling into this. So you actually have to like feel it in your body. It doesn't just live up here. And I was like, oh yeah, that's a really good piece of it. Like, I got to get it in my body, I gotta get it in my body.

SPEAKER_02: 32:24

Because it's the exact same thing with speaking. I yeah, I would tell you that because if you're just here, then you're just spewing out words and you're not connecting with the audience either. But when it's in your body, you know, I hear all the time that people are saying speaking isn't a performance, it shouldn't be a performance. And I'm like, I don't think so. It is a performance. Yeah. My job is to entertain the audience, to pay attention to me, and to learn something before they walk out the door. And if that's a performance, yeah, because I don't act like that when I'm at home. Right. But I'm the same person who's on that stage who's here at home, who's here on this podcast, who's on my podcast.

SPEAKER_00: 33:08

Mm-hmm. Yeah, no, for sure. I agree. I sort of have to like look at it that way. And it was a good shift for me to think about. And also the little thing that you mentioned too about prepping, like prepping your energy for it. That's something I talk about just in general to just all my coaching clients. Like whether whether it's before going into, like you said, a sales call, a sales session, a phone call with a client, even like own your energy first, right? Like really take up your own space, really understand how to project your resonance in a very intentional way, but own it first and ground yourself. Like, you're never gonna go wrong doing that first, no matter what you're about to walk into, even if it's not stepping onto a stage to speak. I think that that's just a really great reminder in general. But I want to touch really quickly on this thing that I think is like one of your superpowers. You always say that you've got this belief that you meet the most interesting people and you say it like it's a personality quirk. But like again, I think it's like one of your superpowers. But because you believe that, it reinforces the belief and it will like you keep doing it. So, where did that come from, do you think? Healthcare.

SPEAKER_02: 34:18

It was started in healthcare. I was just always so surprised by the people that I met. So here's how I got into this whole personal development world with because I did not know anything about this. And I was in my early 20s. So I'm doing, I come from healthcare. I did cardiac and vascular ultrasound, so heart, arteries, veins. That's what I did. And I remembered, and it had to be a man because I was in the room writing up the report, and I always talk with my patients. And so he must have been putting his shirt on, and it was a heart exam. And I don't know what I said to him during the exam, but he said to me, You'd probably love the book, The Magic of Thinking Big. I still have that original copy over there in my bookcase. I took, I grabbed a piece of scrap paper. It was like he was my guru suddenly, you know, and it's just like, okay. Like I was just like, I'm taking orders. I'm like, okay. The hospital was down the street from Barnes and Noble. I said, if I don't get it today, I will get it tomorrow, mentally knowing what my schedule was. And I bought it that night. Completely changed my life. So that incident could be the first incident that I always meet the most interesting people. Because he gave me a piece of advice that completely changed my life. And then I just would notice that I would be having these conversations with patients and they happened to be CEOs. And it's like, hey, I've got this particular company. Are you looking for a sales position? You'd be great in sales. And it was just like the connections that were made.

unknown: 35:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 35:57

You know, somebody who did trainings, you know, he did trainings on emotional intelligence. Well, that got me into emotional intelligence and let me learn more about this. And I met him for coffee and then I assisted at one of his trainings. And all of those little things helped me get onto stage. Yeah. So yeah, and I yeah, I still believe that I'm I always meet the most interesting people.

SPEAKER_00: 36:18

Well, yeah, because I think it has a lot to do with the fact of you're willing to first of all have a conversation, like an actual real conversation with people and let them talk, right? I there's a lot of uh a lot of magic in that. And I mean, any anybody who is in any uh level of sales or you know, any of that, that's always one of the things that they they teach you, right? Is like let them talk more than you, right?

SPEAKER_02: 36:51

Because if especially situations, like I can feel the the questions that they're asking me. So they're putting a spotlight on me, and I mentally try to like shift that because I don't want the conversation to be all about me. I really want to learn about you.

SPEAKER_00: 37:12

Yeah, and that's the piece of it right there, right? And again, another reminder that when it's not about when you don't make about you and you really make it like other person centered, so many, so many doors open just in general, but also like your heart opens, like your resonance, your energetic field actually literally changes when you step into that. They've done studies on that.

SPEAKER_02: 37:39

That energy like starts with those baby steps. So people can say, Wow, it must be great. You can get on those stages. But guess what? I had conversations with patients one-on-one that moved me to, you know, like doing a little bit more smaller workshops when I worked for Siemens and then quitting that job, and like now I'm going to networking events and I'm pretending to host the event. And then I say yes to a speaking opportunity and I'm speaking. Like it's all these little itty bitty baby steps that all add up. So it's like, what can you do today to be sharing with the world what you know? That's you know, I I really do believe in like learn something, go teach it. Yeah, because it will reinforce it even more for you. You know, you know, I I know that Facebook took down all the the older Facebook lives, but I used to tell people, go watch my first Facebook Live. You want to see a drain wreck? I mean, this was and I was a woman who had been on stages, and all of a sudden I did my first Facebook Live, and I was just like, oh my God, this like I was flat. There was no personality, you couldn't feel me. There was like no energy, but I left it there because I wanted people to see the progress that I made. Same thing with my podcast. Go listen to the first episode. You know, I remember recording that one. Do you remember recording your first episode? Oh, yeah, oh yeah, yeah. You're so different now, aren't you?

SPEAKER_00: 39:04

Yeah, and I mean it's just three years in, you know? Yeah. The more you do something, the more practice you get, the more confident you have to take the steps. That's how confidence is built, is by the doing, the doing it and the continuing to show up for yourself and your audience and to believe that, you know, because I know, like, and I hear this a lot from people is nobody cares, nobody's listening, you know, like I feel like nobody, like my engagement's down, blah, blah, blah, all this stuff, right? At the end of the day, though, I'm like, does it matter? Right. Like, you know, first of all, does it matter? Like, do you feel like your message is just important and you need to get it out and it's not just about you? And then second of all, I mean, I think uh, oh, only 20 or 30 people liked or tuned in. That's 20 or 30 people that you didn't have contact or engagement with before.

SPEAKER_02: 40:00

Four. Right. Right. If you were in a room on a stage with a microphone and there were 20 or 30 people, would you poo-poo them and say they're sorry, there's not enough people here.

SPEAKER_00: 40:09

Exactly.

SPEAKER_02: 40:09

Exactly. No.

SPEAKER_00: 40:11

I know. And we are definitely like fed that on the daily. Like, okay, numbers, engagement, but but none of that, none of that is really what we're doing this for.

SPEAKER_02: 40:22

No. We're, you know, and when it comes to like that engagement, like, oh, nobody was there to watch me do my live. It's like somebody once said to me, and she wasn't, she was a true introvert. She goes, I never show up for things live. I'm afraid they'll call me out and they'll say hi to me or something. And so, but that completely changed the way I looked at it. I was just like, oh, I'm doing it for the replay. Because there's lots of people who want to watch it like at their time schedule. And maybe they want to watch it on 2X or something. Although I do talk fast. So I don't think I'm a 2Xer.

SPEAKER_00: 40:58

Yeah. I mean, all of this, like we said, can you can take everything that we've been talking about and apply it to showing up for yourself and your business in a multitude of ways? What I want to sort of ask you before we start to wrap up is because you're in this world and you know you work with people daily in this world of speaking, you know, on stages, what are you seeing? I know you mentioned AI earlier, right? And how this is even like uh more important than ever. But what are you seeing out in these places and on stages of like, what do we need more of in 2026 and beyond? Like, what do you think is going to, besides like the resonance, besides the things that we were talking about? Is there anything that you've seen that people either are doing or not doing that you feel would be beneficial?

SPEAKER_02: 41:50

Or they're avoiding. Right. And okay, I'll put up some of these pretty pictures of me, but it's it's getting out there, it's building your own stage, building your own content, sharing that with people because you just never know that somebody's looking for you and where they're gonna find you and what piece of content is gonna pull them in. That's one thing. And I really do think that um, and I'm seeing a lot of evidence that people want in-person events again. Whether that's the big conference, the small conference, the retreats, the meetups, they just want to have these interactions with people because intuitively we know AI did that.

unknown: 42:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 42:37

So these, like, hey, you can make an AI clone of yourself to make more videos. I don't think people want more videos. They want to feel you. And they can only feel you through my voice, through the frequency, through like what I'm putting out there into the world. You know, one thing that I've been telling all of my clients is like, play with your voice. My voice has gone up and down and slow and fast, like while I've been on this podcast, but I do the same thing all the time. And the best place to practice, so you don't feel like I gotta get it perfect when I do my IG live, practice at home. Practice with your kids, with your spouse, when you're out at the grocery store talking to the cashier. Yes, talk to the cashier, avoid the self-scanning line so that you have so that you get to interact with other people. The more that you interact with other people, that's what people want. And that's what I'm seeing because um conferences are when you start looking at the agendas, they're very holistic. They're about all of the person now. So it's very interesting. I run a lot of people through exercises, like, I'm gonna randomly pick this conference, and every one of you is gonna figure out how your topic can fit in. So I picked a HVAC management conference, and they were all like, oh, but once I opened up the agenda and they saw, then they all took their topic and tried to like, this is how I could fit into there. So very holistic, still very in person, and people want to not just learn more stuff, but have experiences. And that's what you being the book speaker and sharing your expertise is all about is about giving the audience an experience and give them one that they remember you, that they feel you, they walk away and they're like, I remember this woman, Renee. And here's like here's a piece that she said in her presentation that has stuck with me. And that that was that was three years ago that I saw her speak.

SPEAKER_00: 44:48

Yeah, that's awesome. I love that. I could talk to you all day. You you just have such a great energy. Yeah, you're my people, 100%. But like, just so you guys know, like you can totally sense, like if you're watching this, especially on YouTube, you can totally sense her energy, but like in person, it's pretty, it's pretty intensely awesome.

SPEAKER_02: 45:08

Thank you. Thank you. I so appreciate that. Okay, so same thing with you. I was just so drawn to you when we were at the mixer mine. And the reason why I booked the call with you earlier in the year was I went through all the pictures and I was looking for people who I related to. Oh, and I was like, Renee's my people.

SPEAKER_00: 45:28

Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_02: 45:29

I love that my headshot gave me that energy. Yes, yeah. The headshot, the smile, your eyes, like it all, it all adds to it.

SPEAKER_00: 45:39

Oh, thank you. I'm I'm so glad that we were able to connect in person as well. It was really powerful. But thank you so much for being here and for delivering so much value to my audience because, like, yeah, this was um, this was some really good stuff, you guys. And if you want to connect with Lori Ann, where do you like people to connect with you best? And I know that you have this really cool limited series podcast as well. Talk to us a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_02: 46:06

Absolutely. So I usually just tell people go to my website, speakeandstandout.com, and you can follow me on your favorite social media. I have a regular podcast like yours right here, which is called Be in Demand. And that one is two episodes every week. And then I came out with a limited series. So it's a total of 18 episodes from beginning to end. And that one is called Public Speaking Monetization Tips. And that will walk you through from where to even find places to speak all the way up to how can you sell from the stage without sounding salesy at all? And also, there's an important um episode. Avoid these mistakes so that you look like a pro right from the get-go.

SPEAKER_00: 46:54

Oh, good. Yeah, okay, I need that. So, all right, I will put those links for people in the show notes. Um, as always, you guys go connect with her because she's awesome. Thank you so much for being here.

SPEAKER_02: 47:05

Thank you. Thank you for doing what you do and the work that you're doing in the world.

SPEAKER_00: 47:10

Well, I always say visibility is not about being loud, it is about being intentional, though. And Laurian really showed us that in a very grounded and accessible way. And that's just kind of what she does across the board. And what I really love about her story is that it reminds people that their voice is a muscle and their presence is practice, and the world responds to the identity that they choose to walk in. So, for everybody listening or watching, if you have a story, a message, or a spark that you know that you are supposed to be sharing and bringing to the world, go check out everything Lori Ann is doing. Her resources are generous and her insight is next level. And if you ever thought, hey, maybe I could speak something, maybe this is your sign. She's just a pretty awesome human in general. So you're gonna love her. And thank you guys again for tuning in to another episode of the show. I hope that it brought you awesome value. And if it did, please share it with a friend. You can always connect with me on Instagram and let me know what you think about it. And you can also leave us a review at ratethispodcast.comslash Renee Bowen. Have a great rest of your week. Do something good for yourself, and I'll talk to you next time. Love you. Bye.